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6.8.04 American Smiles

How convenient that Reagan's death allows the media to change our image for a week. The communications cables are thrumming with photos of a big man who could smile with sincerity and deftly get off a quip. (Was it Groucho Marx who said, "If you can fake sincerity, you've got it made"?) While the world is force-fed this polished up ad-man version of the American presidency, the real world shambles along.

While we gag ourselves on stories of how Reagan ended the Cold War, the papers are beginning to circulate the Bush administration memos about how it would be okay for the President to order torture. In today's Washington Post:

A U.S. law enacted in 1994 bars torture by U.S. military personnel anywhere in the world. But the Pentagon group's report, prepared under the supervision of General Counsel William J. Haynes II, said that "in order to respect the President's inherent constitutional authority to manage a military campaign . . . [the prohibition against torture] must be construed as inapplicable to interrogations undertaken pursuant to his Commander-in-Chief authority."

The Pentagon group's report, divulged yesterday by the Wall Street Journal and obtained by The Post, said further that the 1994 law barring torture "does not apply to the conduct of U.S. personnel" at Guantanamo Bay.

It also said the anti-torture law did apply to U.S. military interrogations that occurred outside U.S. "maritime and territorial jurisdiction," such as in Iraq or Afghanistan. But it said both Congress and the Justice Department would have difficulty enforcing the law if U.S. military personnel could be shown to be acting as a result of presidential orders.

Don't even try to fake sincerity. Just beat it the hell out of them.

And yet our band of merry Abu-Ghraib soldiers were both torturing and smiling.

My friend Fugai thinks that the Abu-Ghraib photos have permanently corrupted the image of the American smile. She reminded me that in my Pakistan journal, I expressed my certainty that people did so many favors for us because of our big American smiles. And now those smiles -- reflecting all that beautiful dental work that brightens, straightens, and makes ugly cavities go away -- will forever be connected with the abuse and humiliation of Moslems.

President Bush's smile is pinched and snarky. Cheney and Rumsfeld have those crooked smiles of people who "know best." Powell's smile is barely discernible -- a vague shift in his bland demeanor. Condi has a big toothy smile but, like her hawkish cronies, she usually flashes it when she's telling you how terribly wrong you are -- I can only laugh at your stupidity and lack of understanding.

So this week we are selling an American smile made in Hollywood. Gee, do you think that'll work...?

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