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8.8.04 Who Is the Girlie-Boy?

Republicans are gleefully casting Kerry & Company as latte-drinking, French-speaking, gay-loving, effete liberals. What they seem to be saying is that, if you're a real man, you spend your youth carousing and dodging responsibility. A real man knows how to flatten beer cans against his skull. A real man pretends he're from Texas and wears cowboy boots and flight jackets. A real man finds Jesus instead of joining AA. After all, AA makes you do girlie things like admit your failings and apologize to people you've hurt. Being a Jesus-man makes you as infallible and unassailable as the Pope, without having to wear the white dress.

Real men deal with the non-American world through commerce and conquering. Like a woman, the world is to be used to your advantage. Go ahead, plunder natural resources, make "bidness" deals, kick Iraqi butt -- because you're a man! But don't do anything so humbling as immerse yourself in another culture or learn another language. Eeeww -- girlie-man stuff.

It's a sad commentary on the state of white manhood in this country that a majority of them still think George W. Bush embodies what it means to be a man. If you consider yourself A Real Man in today's America then, in your comfort zone, you push away complexity and worldliness. You avoid anyone who is different from you unless they are on "the other team" and you (or your surrogates) plan to "kick their ass" or merge them into your corporation. And if you find yourself in trouble, you just slap a Jesus sticker on the bumper of your SUV. He's on record as dying for your sins, right? -- let Jesus be your lawyer and take care of all the girlie paperwork while you slip on your cowboy boots.

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